By definition, Yoga in sex means the fusion of two into one during sexual intercourse.
Before beginning to consider the peculiarities of such unification, it is necessary to determine the options of possible personal programs with respect to sex.
There are three main approaches towards sex.
First: the unconscious biological approach, which is based on the passion of sexual attraction and the spontaneous biological development of relationships, which does not imply mastering the culture of sexual relationships.
Second: the conscious ascetic (religious monks’) approach, which implies the «destruction of flesh» and refrains from sexual contacts, both self-suggested sexual stimulation and even thoughts about them. In other words, obeying a complete taboo with respect to sex, and liberating consciousness from dualism and the dependence on the human partner for strengthening the Power of Spirit and realizing the Unity with the High Partner.
Third: the conscious tantric approach, which allows sexual relations but with mandatory understanding of all components and mastering the culture of sexual relations. It implies the understanding that the High manifests itself in all the diversity of the world, and sexual relations with a human partner comprise the model of Unifying with the High, allowing the consciousness to evolve without disclaiming anything.
The unconscious approach is based on the operation of the endocrine system and the biological program of reproducing living beings. It is powerful and reliable as an instinct, but its manifestation is not purely what is called human.
However, in some cases of functional disorders, biological stimulation of this instinct may be useful and relieve these situations.
The unconscious approach to sex in modern social conditions usually facilitates the development of an individual’s sexual desire and «disturbs society», so that this way can often lead to maniacal behavior. Many current criminal sexual activities have appeared due to people’s unconscious attitude toward sex.
The conscious ascetic approach to sex is one of man’s most audacious challenges to the High and Unknown. The biological instinct of reproduction is one of the most ancient and strong programs in human beings, because it is related to the importance of prolonging human existence. There is only one instinct which is stronger that this one, i. e., the survival instinct.
The conscious ascetic approach is the «art of pacifying the Beast».
History shows numerous examples of the «fallen», and how people became crazy on the ascetic way. And at the same time, there are numerous examples of spiritual leaders who have added to their Power of Spirit and their magical abilities by overcoming the sexual instinct.
The most important rule in overcoming any habit or instinct is to distract attention from the object and direct this attention to something else. If basic instincts are suppressed by taboos, these instincts will continue to live and operate because they remain in the field of attention. And attention feeds and enhances everything that comes in contact with it. Therefore, the strength of a habit or instinct will increase in proportion to the efforts taken to suppress it, and sooner or later this results in a breakdown.
If attention is peacefully distracted from anything related to a habit’s manifestation as soon as anything reminding one of it attracts attention, it will not be fed and its impact will be reduced until it gradually ceases to be of any substantial importance.
In this way, everyday negative habits and desires can be gotten rid of: eating meat, smoking, drinking alcohol, taking drugs, filling the sexual excess, etc.
Each instinct, desire or habit consumes life energy for its existence. And liberation from them is related to the liberation of the energy involved in their manifestation. And the stronger the instinct, desire or habit is, the more energy is liberated that may then be used consciously for spiritual purposes.
Isolating the reproduction instinct from other basic instincts does not cause any defects in the body’s sexual functions. In fact, this instinct may be demonstrated to its best advantage, with power exceeding regular instinct.
Sexual self-restraint touches deep layers of the sub-conscious and makes the psychic background of the ascetic seem unusual to normal people. People think he/she is strange, and suspect that he/she is impotent, cold or frigid (every person seeks explanations in accordance with his mentality and culture). But these assumptions are totally different from reality. It is that the sexuality of an ascetic is directed towards the Supreme.
The conscious tantric approach to sex is an even a greater challenge to the Supreme Unknown than a conscious ascetic approach, since it implies control of the reproduction instinct in conditions of its active manifestation, rather than in the «hothouse» conditions of its isolation. The conscious tantric approach is the «art of pacifying the Violence of the Beast».
And the «fallen» on this way outnumber the followers of the conscious ascetic approach. Many literature sources have been published about the tantric way, and many fans have appeared who overestimate themselves and start to «play with the Beast» without sufficient knowledge of its power, guile and strength. And the majority of them devolve to unconscious biological sex. This happens due to numerous mistakes.
The conscious tantric approach requires the Power of Spirit which should not only be superior to a «normal» man’s, but it should also be superior to the Power of Spirit of an ascetic who has managed to overcome the reproduction instinct. And from the beginning, the Power of Spirit should defeat and overcome sexual instinct, and one should not fall going through comprehensive ascetic training, and thereafter, cautiously try the conscious tantric approach. And although if few people managed to skip the ascetic stage, their percentage is so small that it is better to adopt the requirement of preliminary concentration and the accumulation of the Power of Spirit through the ascetic stage before practicing contemplation in the tantric approach.
And go slow. The reproduction instinct should be restrained completely. Early transition to sex with insufficient Power of Spirit causes the «Power of the Beast» (which is instinct) to start dominating. It takes control from the hands of the adept, and the his accumulated Power of Spirit is taken away and «gobbled by the Beast». This is followed by degradation of the consciousness with all resulting immoral consequences. But the point is that the reproduction instinct is a very ancient and powerful program, and a hasty «adept» has not accumulated sufficient Power of Spirit to control this powerful instinct and falls into trivial sexual satisfaction.
If you do not have problems with this control, a whole world of energy interactions opens with the partner. And the art of mastering this has no boundaries.
The reproduction instinct is based on the ecstatic resonance caused by the amplification of repeated signals going from the nervous system as the result of rhythmical movements and excitations of the primarily tactile receptors of genitals. This resonance is substantially assisted by prior or simultaneous excitation of individual erogenous zones situated on the whole surface of whole a human body.
The biological sexual behavior of men and women is different. But their common behavior is the continuous or stepped increase of excitement to some peak, which corresponds to ecstasy, followed by the decrease of this excitement. The only difference is that the rate of both excitement and recession is relatively long for females, and male recessions occur much faster. As well as the period of excitement and recession is quite longer when compared to a male’s period.
When analyzing sexual relations, it is necessary to understand that, first of all, this is a game of senses and exchange of signals between the nerve systems of the partners. The behavior of one of two partners is not correct if their attention is directed only to their individual feelings. Roughly speaking, if one of them behaves «like a log». Such behavior is more pertaining to some women, but, as a rule, this happens due to the lack of experience and with the lapse of time many women become more active. But similar things can happen with men and, in this case, there is a real pathology.
Harmonious sexual relations imply the fusion of the partners’ energy structures into one, and each of them can feel that one as themselves. So that, if something happens with one of the partners, it is noticed by the other one and they both act in unison helping each other to achieve happiness during the resonance of unification.
Where there is love and unification there is no place for egotistical behavior.
Prior ascetic experience, in at least one of the partners, allows him/her to control the senses. This is more essential for men, considering the relative transience of their excitement.
In the «Kama-Sutra» Tradition, it is customary to use the abstract of the «fire» and «water» model with respect to the senses. It means that, on the one hand, it is required to make and maintain «fire» of excitation, and, on the other hand, to extinguish it with «water» if the excitement is going out of control. Of course, this is a provisional model but it explains the principle of how one should treat the excitation signals.
If biological excitation can be characterized as a narrow «mountain» with a high peak, with fast ecstasy on top, tantric excitation can be characterized by a very broad and sloping mountain, with a plateau on top, where the ecstasy lasts very long. In this event the degree of excitation and the intensity of ecstasy are almost the same as in the event, of a «mountain with a sharp top». The difference is purely subjective, only because the contrast between bottom and top is not very big in tantric variant.
The ecstasy on a «sharp top» is essentially a momentary flash of a real ecstasy of unification.
Never it is necessary to hurry. And help each other feel when to delay or avoid overexciting the partner, and, on the contrary, when it is necessary to be more active and help the partner to «make fire». Also, it is necessary to feel yourself better, and if one gets overexcited, stop and take a pause, signaling the partner to «work for himself/herself» and burn his/her own fire, assisting him/her in it.
It is also important to understand the partner correctly if she/he gives the same sign, and, without being distracted, continue «burning the fire», of course with the assistance of the partner. And one should not lose control by too rapid of an increase of excitement, which is followed by frustration.
Smooth building of the excitement with control allows a «rise» in the degrees of passion that is much higher and experienced much longer. It builds a powerful ecstasy of unification that transforms consciousness and completely removes the feeling of separation and dualism.
It is known that any signal, if it is too strong, turns to pain. And if it is too weak, dissatisfaction is felt. But if it is neither strong nor weak (optimum) and pleasant, it carries enjoyment and satisfaction.
Practical experience of yogi training develops sensitivity and control of the senses, strengthens the heart and expands the arsenal of possible forms. The functional tone of the body and its endurance are the best assistance to the harmonization of sexual relations. It expands the abilities of personal and mutual adjustment and sensory control. A higher capacity energy flow appears and carries the partners for a long time without any negative consequences, while the potency is increased very substantially.
Combinations of various yogi postures during sex open broad opportunities for mutual creativity, as well as many new energy loops and circulation contours that considerably expand the spectrum of feelings experienced and refine the style of life.
The development of Yoga practice allows for the removal of many problems that often disrupt family life.
First of all, you should get acquainted with the «Kama-Sutra» technique, liberate yourself from any sexual complexes and apply the whole arsenal of available forms and means of mutual satisfaction.
There should be no limitations as to mutual stimulation instruments and means between partners.
One should not forbid their partner to do anything, if only it is not related to pain.
The more natural the behavior, the closer to the goal.
The reasons for various problems usually stem from illiteracy or psychological complexes.
Sometimes a problem may be caused by incompatible dimensions or by the form of genitals. This is easily overcome by selecting particular postures that compensate for such incompatibilities.
For example if the event the penis is too small, the woman may, by contracting the perineum muscles, constrict the vaginal orifice, or change postures to provide the easiest access for deep penetration.
In the event the penis is too big for the woman, the man may take time to arouse the woman with his lips, tongue, and hands in different postures (preferably «on all fours») until her vagina increases to the required dimensions.
There are no sexual problems that can not be resolved by yogi training. And no one will want to change partners with those who have sufficient experience in applying Yoga achievements to sexual relations.
The main problem for men is quick excitement, ejaculation, and further inability to «speak to the woman». The reason for this is weak Spirit and a lack of sexual control. It is also egoism and a reluctance to put energy into self-control, not only for the sake of a woman, but also for his own sake, which means the absence of love for both the woman and himself.
According to Tantric canons men should «creep» to ejaculation «without loosing the Power» enjoying long and powerful ecstasy for hours, like a women. Or, against the canons, «unload» when they want, if they do not wish to share the Power. And if a woman continues to assist him without ceasing her caresses for a single moment, then, even with the «loss», male ecstasy may last rather long, like a female’s.
However, men should remember that the body does a lot of work to process food products to produce sexual hormones. And the presence of hormones in the organism is very important for a man’s health. Nature’s intention of this hormone was not to satisfy ordinary lust, and its loss inevitably causes the worsening of health and changes the man’s constitution. In order to receive required substances to produce a new portion of hormones, a man starts to overeat, his body becomes polluted, fat, weak, and starts hurting and aging (look at any «common family man»).
In fact, a partner, who is experienced in yoga-based control of the signal system, is not a simple man. His potency has no limits. The Kama-Sutra says that the Master is capable of satisfying three women at a time without losing anything…
During «normal» (biological) sexual intercourse, male energy, driven by excitement, flows from Kanda (the source of Kundalini energy) to the genitals. If a man has experience «raising the Kundalini», he can change the energy flow when the excitement increases. To do this, he uses his will to block the energy flow, running from Kanda to the genitals and redirects it, as in the practice of «raising the Kundalini», in Sushumna, by driving the excitement signal through the Nadi (energy channels) of the spine to the brain’s excitement centers. This flow will bring an incomparable ecstasy. It will make one completely forget all the «toys» of biological sex. Thus tantric-followers «use» the natural initial passion caused by the partner’s sexual influence, as a «burner» for the complete «raising of Kundalini» and Spiritual realization.
The technique of controlling the «raising of Kundalini» may also be used to decrease excitement when it is necessary to continue «working for a woman» without being overexcited. So, distracting the excitement signal from the genitals and redirecting it to the brain or through other channels decreases the degree of «narrow» excitement and initiates energy flows of another type, which expand the passion spectrum and the sphere of delight.
If a man has no such experience, he can’t do something and cannot control his sexual passion, and over-excitement begins to get the best of him, he may to leave alone his penis and, without frustration, continue interactions with the woman using lips, tongue or hands, and, when his excitement is restored, he can revive his penis without interrupting intercourse. And it is possible to continue so all the time. In this case each partner follow its own rhythms and with understanding helps each other.
From the energy point of view, women, unlike men, are lucky by birth. Their body is constructed so that they do not need to ascetically accumulate sexual energy for «raising the Kundalini». For them a man is a universal «burner». Possibly, this is why the majority of women subconsciously long for a man like a God. Because it is through the connection with him, and the «raising of Kundalini», that divine realization occurs.
Often, a problem for women is achieving a complete orgasm and ecstasy. The reason for that is usually lack of experience and insufficient sensitivity, or the lack of an experienced and uninhibited partner.
A woman should understand what arouses her sexual excitement, and let the man understand this. She must literally teach the man if he is «stupid» and has not yet understood himself what he should do to stimulate her and how he should do it. And she should part with him if he always makes haste and cares only about himself.
The lack of sensitivity is, in fact, not a problem, as it can be developed in the course of Yoga practice. And the main thing during sexual intercourse, however, is to «surrender» and to stop thinking. Each woman’s nature is inclined to this. And this is a problem for a masculine woman only.
A woman must always be a conscious Magician and remember the necessity to be mysterious and inaccessible. She should never allow a man to surfeit completely or become sure «that this woman is always in his pocket». Assurance decays unconscious people. Few pass this test. But the way out is simple: a woman only needs to provoke a man’s interest in her and, thereafter, manipulate this living energy, constantly using special magical tricks, not only during sexual relations, but throughout life, ALWAYS. This should become the life style for every woman.
And do not be deluded into thinking that these behaviors are insincere toward the beloved creature, of course, if we speak of real love. It is important to understand the psychology of men, and know that, in fact, they like the process of longing and contesting the beloved woman rather than the resulting process. Even if it is connected with a kind of “suffering”. And one should strive to assist men to extend this process infinitely. But in such a fashion that he should never even guess about this «assistance».
A woman should never tell her tricks to a man. This should be kept in secret. She should always account for the male unconscious psychology. Men betray even beloved women in the event they become sure of them.
Even if love is strong and there is nothing else to be desired, nobody should relax and seduce themselves, because the feelings are filled with life power that has a dynamic nature. Feelings are always variable: they flow, transform and, sometimes, run dry.
Each woman is a Magician by the nature. And the art of magic, as any other training, requires spiritual effort. Understanding this, one can not be lazy. It is only necessary to understand how and what a man reacts on and it is possible to control a man’s energy completely for the sake of the harmony and happiness for both partners. Men should be controlled for the sake of preserving eternal love.
A woman who possesses the magic of Kama-Sutra has no problems in the life. No one can be equal with her. And, once contacting such a woman no man will be able to think about any other woman.
(However, the above female magic technique also pertains to men. In the majority of one-sided love cases, men should also resort to it.)
And, of course, the most important thing to make a woman’s life successful is the presence of a loving tender man and her assurance in him.
In some cases it may be justified, both for men and women, to let the control go and allow the reproduction instinct to violently manifest. This is justified in making children and in particular moments of sexual relations as a combined mode of consciously alternating special controlled actions with spontaneous instinct-based ones.
A very interesting aspect is «field» sexual relations, i. e., sexual relations without physical contact: through emotional and mental communication, looks, gestures etc.
Many call out-of-marriage sexual relations a betrayal. At the same time the same people flirt at work or in social situations, just without physical contact, and for some reason this is not considered as a betrayal. But «gentle» contact-free sex is no less complete than contact-sex. This division is strange, as well as the lack of understanding that it is the same thing, even if it is completed silently in dreams and feelings. In this event, there occurs a «gentle» energy-level unification of emotional or mental shells of the partners and complete sexual energy exchange.
There are no boundaries for sex, as there are no boundaries for unification. Possibly this is why tantric followers see the whole world as divine sexual intercourse.
The ascetic approach towards sex allows the realization of the nature of the human body and feelings. But complete knowledge about human nature implies the realizing of two origins: male and female, as well as their meaning to one another. And this is only possible through the complete realizing of the psychic-energy processes of not only your own, but of a human being of another sex. And tantric experience allows one to completely realize peculiarities in the nature of male and female origins, transcend the existing differences and achieve universal, non-dual, human Vision and Being.
Having experienced biological, ascetic and tantric sexual approaches, it is possible to apply any of them in accordance with changes in the life situation, be satisfied with life and avoid suffering in any twists of fate.